Tuesday, March 4, 2014

now that i am engaged....

now that i have been engaged for an entire weekend, i figured i would set some standards, ground rules, for the wedding planning process and beyond. i haven't even STARTED to think about planning a wedding and probably won't until early April because here has been our past few months...

december - searching for a new home and drew had knee surgery
january - bought our first home, closed and moved into our first home, drew's birthday, our anniversary, left for mexico
february - came back from mexico, 2 weeks of traveling along the west coast for work, got engaged the last day of february
march - 1 week at home and 3 weeks on the road to cover health fairs in TX, MA, SC, NJ and AZ

i am literally so tired, it still hasn't hit me that we bought a home and are engaged. all good things, so i can't complain too much, but i am really looking forward to the day that i can just absorb all the awesomeness going on!

anyway, back to my ground rules that i thought of while lying in bed, unable to sleep this weekend....consider it part 1 of vows, things i will NOT do....

my life will not entirely be wedding planning:. friends, i do not expect you to only talk to me about wedding planning, in fact, i may prefer it. i plan to maintain my balanced lifestyle of working, cooking, yoga and oh yea, sleeping! wedding planning will not define me!

tell my single friends 'you're next!' or 'when are you two going to finally take the plunge?!':. i cannot tell you how annoyed i was when i heard that.....for the past 3 years! as i can attest to, everyone is on their own timeline and go at their own speed. just because 'everyone else is doing it' or everyone thinks you've been together forever or that buying a house is for married people does not mean anyone should feel pressured - i know drew and i had a lot of other things to worry about other than getting engaged/married like build a career, a bank account, drink wine, watch Netflix, play Scrabble and workout - you know, lots of really important things. not everyone's end goal is to get married by a certain age, i dig that.

treat my single friends differently:. again, being engaged or planning a wedding will not define me. i will not put it above anyone or anything - my best friend and i have had a weekly date (for the past 7 years), to watch Teen Mom and i sure as hell am not about to change that! i have a lot of friends who are 'single', but they are doing some amazing things, like almost finishing law school or plowing through chiropractic school, about to graduate with their 4-year degree or landed a big job. i am still going to celebrate all of their successes! i also will not create a clique with my friends who are engaged or already married. i will not discriminate.

get offended by the "i am not engaged, or married or having kids, so i am basically doing nothing with my life but drinking a glass of wine or getting drunk" statuses, tweets or memes:. i wasn't into making a big deal about being 'single', but if that's your style rock on! i won't call dr. phil on you for trying to hide your deeply hidden sorrow and daddy-issues - i will cheers you my glass of wine because sometimes, all we need to care about is fricken glass of wine and i love where your head is at!

suddenly define myself as succesful:. my end goal is not to get married or be a housewife, so i did not suddenly become successful because drew sealed the deal. i am not better than anyone else. i have many things to strive to become, i am just getting my career underway and finding my place in this big, bad world. trust me, i know being married is going to be unicorns and butterflies, but not really going to totally cut it for me (cue 'Webbie - I N D E P E N D E N T' song).

create a countdown until i marry my 'best friend':. drew, you are so darn awesome and i am pretty fricken excited to hang out with you every single day of my life for as long as we live, but i will not say the whole 'marry my best friend' thing. i think you are da bomb, but i will spare everyone the mouth throw-up.

crash diet:. if you have seen me eat, you know i am serious about food and will be up until the 'big day'. i will certainly workout and watch what i eat, but if i am watching a spoonful of ice cream go into my mouth, i am not going to stress (p.s. isn't it ironic that stressed out brides crash diet?! i think they should just reach for a big bowl of ice cream and give themselves a brain freeze). side note to my photographer (whoever you are), we need to discuss how i should pose so my arms don't look so large and my shoulders don't look like you tried to photoshop a linebacker.

change my relationship with drew:. as a couple, we have not 'made it', in fact, i think we are far from 'making it'. i know marriage takes work. hell, our relationship before marriage has required work and i do not expect that to change. in the end, i know that the 'work' doesn't seem so bad with him, the payoff is totally worth it. i will not stop respecting or appreciating him. i will still hide post-it notes around our house for him to find and thank him for cleaning the liter or pouring me a glass of wine (do you see a wine theme here?). i will not 'let myself go' or turn into a bridezilla. i will not lose my independence or expect him to lose his. basically, we are going to keep doing our thing, but we'll just make it a little more official. damnit, i just love him so much!

maybe i wrote these rules to help with perspective when i am knee-deep in wedding planning, but after a weekend of being engaged, i realized that not too much has changed. yes, i have a shiny ring on, a wedding to plan, i get to change my last name, i get to quit saying boyfriend, but in the same breath, i still look forward to having my best friend over to paint nails and trash talk Teen Mom. i still rush home to see drew after work or make sure that having dinner together is a priority. i still plan yoga dates with my friends. i guess i realized that if the rest of my life consists of homemade dinners, Netflix, playing Scrabble and working out with my "best friend" than i am one lucky lady.

always striving for more,
dee b.

1 comment:

  1. Girl.
    Every time you open your mouth, type a word and text me a sentence.. I am inspired. I love your honesty - and your self confidence. This was such a refreshing read! As a single gal, I'm always a bit heartbroken when my friends get married - because then I think our friendship will somehow change. Even before you wrote this I know it wouldn't with you!!! Probs because we are soul sisters. LOVE YOU