Tuesday, March 4, 2014

now that i am engaged....

now that i have been engaged for an entire weekend, i figured i would set some standards, ground rules, for the wedding planning process and beyond. i haven't even STARTED to think about planning a wedding and probably won't until early April because here has been our past few months...

december - searching for a new home and drew had knee surgery
january - bought our first home, closed and moved into our first home, drew's birthday, our anniversary, left for mexico
february - came back from mexico, 2 weeks of traveling along the west coast for work, got engaged the last day of february
march - 1 week at home and 3 weeks on the road to cover health fairs in TX, MA, SC, NJ and AZ

i am literally so tired, it still hasn't hit me that we bought a home and are engaged. all good things, so i can't complain too much, but i am really looking forward to the day that i can just absorb all the awesomeness going on!

anyway, back to my ground rules that i thought of while lying in bed, unable to sleep this weekend....consider it part 1 of vows, things i will NOT do....

my life will not entirely be wedding planning:. friends, i do not expect you to only talk to me about wedding planning, in fact, i may prefer it. i plan to maintain my balanced lifestyle of working, cooking, yoga and oh yea, sleeping! wedding planning will not define me!

tell my single friends 'you're next!' or 'when are you two going to finally take the plunge?!':. i cannot tell you how annoyed i was when i heard that.....for the past 3 years! as i can attest to, everyone is on their own timeline and go at their own speed. just because 'everyone else is doing it' or everyone thinks you've been together forever or that buying a house is for married people does not mean anyone should feel pressured - i know drew and i had a lot of other things to worry about other than getting engaged/married like build a career, a bank account, drink wine, watch Netflix, play Scrabble and workout - you know, lots of really important things. not everyone's end goal is to get married by a certain age, i dig that.

treat my single friends differently:. again, being engaged or planning a wedding will not define me. i will not put it above anyone or anything - my best friend and i have had a weekly date (for the past 7 years), to watch Teen Mom and i sure as hell am not about to change that! i have a lot of friends who are 'single', but they are doing some amazing things, like almost finishing law school or plowing through chiropractic school, about to graduate with their 4-year degree or landed a big job. i am still going to celebrate all of their successes! i also will not create a clique with my friends who are engaged or already married. i will not discriminate.

get offended by the "i am not engaged, or married or having kids, so i am basically doing nothing with my life but drinking a glass of wine or getting drunk" statuses, tweets or memes:. i wasn't into making a big deal about being 'single', but if that's your style rock on! i won't call dr. phil on you for trying to hide your deeply hidden sorrow and daddy-issues - i will cheers you my glass of wine because sometimes, all we need to care about is fricken glass of wine and i love where your head is at!

suddenly define myself as succesful:. my end goal is not to get married or be a housewife, so i did not suddenly become successful because drew sealed the deal. i am not better than anyone else. i have many things to strive to become, i am just getting my career underway and finding my place in this big, bad world. trust me, i know being married is going to be unicorns and butterflies, but not really going to totally cut it for me (cue 'Webbie - I N D E P E N D E N T' song).

create a countdown until i marry my 'best friend':. drew, you are so darn awesome and i am pretty fricken excited to hang out with you every single day of my life for as long as we live, but i will not say the whole 'marry my best friend' thing. i think you are da bomb, but i will spare everyone the mouth throw-up.

crash diet:. if you have seen me eat, you know i am serious about food and will be up until the 'big day'. i will certainly workout and watch what i eat, but if i am watching a spoonful of ice cream go into my mouth, i am not going to stress (p.s. isn't it ironic that stressed out brides crash diet?! i think they should just reach for a big bowl of ice cream and give themselves a brain freeze). side note to my photographer (whoever you are), we need to discuss how i should pose so my arms don't look so large and my shoulders don't look like you tried to photoshop a linebacker.

change my relationship with drew:. as a couple, we have not 'made it', in fact, i think we are far from 'making it'. i know marriage takes work. hell, our relationship before marriage has required work and i do not expect that to change. in the end, i know that the 'work' doesn't seem so bad with him, the payoff is totally worth it. i will not stop respecting or appreciating him. i will still hide post-it notes around our house for him to find and thank him for cleaning the liter or pouring me a glass of wine (do you see a wine theme here?). i will not 'let myself go' or turn into a bridezilla. i will not lose my independence or expect him to lose his. basically, we are going to keep doing our thing, but we'll just make it a little more official. damnit, i just love him so much!

maybe i wrote these rules to help with perspective when i am knee-deep in wedding planning, but after a weekend of being engaged, i realized that not too much has changed. yes, i have a shiny ring on, a wedding to plan, i get to change my last name, i get to quit saying boyfriend, but in the same breath, i still look forward to having my best friend over to paint nails and trash talk Teen Mom. i still rush home to see drew after work or make sure that having dinner together is a priority. i still plan yoga dates with my friends. i guess i realized that if the rest of my life consists of homemade dinners, Netflix, playing Scrabble and working out with my "best friend" than i am one lucky lady.

always striving for more,
dee b.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

i have a fiancé.

hmm....where do i start this post? it seems so surreal to be writing this!!! also, we got engaged about 5 hours ago (but who is counting) and i am already taking time to write this....bear with me, there is a reason for that!!!

SO, the past 2 weeks i have been traveling for work in CA and OR. while i have enjoyed the warmer weather and being able to see new places, i was very ready to get back and spend a week at our new house in MN before spending the last 3 weeks in March traveling to NJ, MA, SC, AZ, and TX, again for work! my flight was scheduled to leave this morning at 7:05 am which meant a 4:45 wake-up to return my rental car and get through security (i know, i am really bad at telling stories. i realize this is the boring part, i'm getting there). of course, there were maintenance issues so we were stuck on the run-way for about 20 minutes before we headed BACK to the gate. after an hour and a half of being stuck on the plane, we were finally cleared for take-off. fast forward 3 hours, i landed in MN, hadn't showered in 2 days, still wearing yesterday's make-up and SO ready to get home. once i turned on my phone, i had a text from drew saying that he made something for me to take along on my next bout of trips - pause - drew has had a few 'surprises' for me the past couple months and they always ended up being something like flowers, a pack of new workout socks or tickets to a play. don't get me wrong, i loved all of them (i wear the socks to the gym all the time), but it was no ring. i even texted my girlfriends about this new surprise and placed a bet that it was another pack of socks. while waiting for him to get home from work, i fell asleep on our couch - holding my laptop with a cat fast asleep on my chest, it was precious. he woke me up and said he wanted to give me my present. in my sleepy haze, i was looking around the kitchen for it and he was like, 'uhm, it's right here on the counter' (it was a notebook). the notebook was actually a scrapbook that he had put together with little trinkets from our 3 years together - our Hamline student IDs (where it all started), receipt from our first date, many tickets stubs from movies we have seen, a scorecard from a mini-golf game, my Hamline graduation tassel (when he met my family for the first time), plane tickets from trips together and much more! i was already tearing up thinking about how thoughtful he was to keep all of these things for the past 3+ years. but still clueless as to what was actually happening (i blame it on the lack of sleep). the last page was a note to me and at the bottom it said, turn around....of course, as i turned around, he was down on one knee with a ring - the PERFECT ring!

i didn't know how i was going to react when and if this moment happened (yes, i did realize it was heading in that direction, we just bought a house together) - there were, what i would like to call, classy tears (but no blubbering) and all i remember telling him is 'i am so happy to be home'. later, i asked him if i actually had said 'yes'...neither of us remember. after realizing what had happened and then remembering how horrible i looked, i called my parents! naturally, they didn't answer. p.s. there should be a guide on 'what to do in the first hour you get engaged'. after my parents didn't answer, i was clueless. when i got ahold of them, my mom put on speaker since her and my dad were driving to dinner. we talked to drew's parents and i sent a few texts. again, i wish i would have had a guide as what to do - do i call? do i text? do i snap chat? i certainly did not want anyone's day to stop on our account. plus, i had just gotten home from being gone all week and we were both spending time on our phones when i was really just wanted to be happy to be home with him, not even mentioning getting ENGAGED!

ok, don't die over how ridiculously romantic this next part is....part of what made the big surprise was i knew that drew had to study for his midterm (which is 8:00-11:00 am on Saturday morning), so since i was still tired and didn't want to shower and being the match-made-in-heaven that we are, we totally agreed to pick up Chipotle to go. on our way home from Chipotle, we stopped by Target so he could get notecards and a printer for studying. after eating Chipotle while watching an episode of Weeds, he is now studying and i am writing this - have i mentioned that we go by our own rules?! we are REALLY looking forward to celebrating our engagement tomorrow, after i get a good night's sleep and he kills his midterm exam.

please notice his mohawk and my chubby, freshman cheeks

i could NEVER find the card on the left - this was the line to call in sick when i worked at UCare, now i know where it has been all this time... 

2 years ago, we went to the MN state fair with his mom and sister, Lizzie  - she ended up winning a MASSIVE gorilla! i actually forgot about this! 
my ROSE GOLD ring - i feel bad that my hands are so incredibly ugly from traveling, my pretty ring looks horribly out of place.... 

holy shit, drew is my fiancé. i have a fiancé.

always striving for more,
dee b.