i broke the rules.
the rules were to not run any longer and i broke them. oh well.
i went for a run last night outside. i don't remember the last time that i went for a full run outside. i want to say that it was only 4 miles and no big deal, but it was so much more than that to me.
transitioning my cardio from the freedom of pavement and wherever scenery took me, to an clunky elliptical battling over TV rights, has been hard to say the least. i feel restricted to where, when and how long i can workout for. the saying stands, you never really know what you got until it's gone. there were days where i used to find myself saying, 'i have to go out on a run today'. looking back, it should have been phrased, 'i get to run today'.
running turned into my outlet during college. regardless of what i had going on during school, work, relationships, my living situation, it was stability i could count on. i think the hardest part about this transition is trying to find another outlet, another way to spend my time, to keep my sanity, to maintain my self-worth and identity. this may sound extreme, but identifying myself as a runner for years and than having to find another identity is going to be a journey as i have already realized this week.
this past week was trying and frustrating and i felt as if i had no outlet. any outlet that i did try, yoga, ellipticalling, gardening, made me feel just as defeated because i NEEDED to run, i WANTED to run.
anyway, i took my time enjoying this run, noticing everything :: the changing scenery, fresh air, animals (even though i only saw rabbits, squirrels and birds), smells that changed throughout the route, uneven sidewalks and crunching leaves. i realize that i can't make this a regular thing and i really need to focus on transitioning my lifestyle into less running, less impact activities to help myself and my knee. i know it's going to be a journey of trial and error, good moods and bad moods. it's a journey of uncertainty, but one thing that is certain is i will cherish every run that i GET to do.
next time you are on a run, do me a favor, do yourself a favor and notice everything.
always striving for more,