.:my LAST 1/2 marathon:.

when i signed up for this race, i didn't expect it to be my last one. while i wasn't surprised when my doctor told me that after this race i needed to quit running and take on less impact activities,  i had a 'minor' freak out. what was i going to do with all the time that i had spent running? how was i going to stay in shape and more importantly, how was i going to 'escape' to keep my sanity?'.

i began cherishing every training run and every run resonated emotions that i have ever noticed before. i found myself in tears, more than once, running my typical route to my typical playlist not only realizing that these moments were limited, but also frustrated. i was frustrated that my knee was having a hard time keeping up with the rest of my body. i knew my knee was bad, but apparently, i was ignorant at how rapidly it was deteriorating with every mile that i had ran. as the run became closer, my training transitioned to the elliptical. three weeks before, i was feeling confident that i would be able to at least finish strong....and then i got sick with strep and a double ear infection. needless to say, by the time i hit the starting line, i wasn't running for a PR anymore, i was running to finish. my only goal now was to run the entire way.

the morning of the run, my mom, brother and i drove to the starting corrals (in a Camaro, might i add-my brother knows people, nbd). we stretched, hit the restrooms and said a prayer before joining the rest of the runners. my brother headed to the front of the pack, knowing he was going to kick ass, while my mom and i hovered in the 2 hour time group reminsicing about my first race, our first race and how this crazy world of running brought us closer. 

the course was absolutely breathtaking. from the streets of Vancouver, to the Redwood trees of Stanley Park and along the seawall of the coast, the views were spectacular. Lululemon did a great job keeping us entertained along the 13.1 miles. there were neon people rappelling off the Lululemon factory, mermaids hanging out by the bay and our turn around point was in front of the FIRST Lululemon store, cool, right? thank goodness the views were great because it helped take my mind off how not in shape i was. even after 6-ish ibuprofen, my knee was stiff and sore by mile 4 and it all went downhill from there. i honestly can't even remember our time, it defintely wasn't a PR, but i ran the entire way, thanks to my mom! my mom was an awesome companion, either staying by my side or going ahead a few steps to keep pushing me. and my brother? he killed it coming in around 1:36. what a stud!

of course, i have pictures to share:.

obviously, still feeling good....

in the zone:.

contemplating how much that sucked...

his first and last time coming to my running events

we did it!

honestly, i thought i was going to have a lot of emotions over not running anymore, most of them being sad, but the way my body felt after this run made it easier to walk away. it's been 6 weeks since i last ran and my knee has never felt better (ok, maybe it did when i was 14). i am grateful for everything that running has done for me. from weight loss, to being a great transition out of competitive sports and to seeing beautiful scenery, i realize that i am stronger mentally and physically to move on yet again to something better for my knees. as my brother keeps getting himself more involved in the running world and my mom continues to succeed in her journey, i'm not jealous or bitter, but i am happy for them. i hope running brings them all the things that it brought me.


always striving for more,
dee b.

.:happiness comes when you overcome the most impossible challenges:.

have you ever heard the phrase, 'when it rains, it pours'?

i am a 'glass half-full' type of person and really like to focus on positive things in my life, but in order for us to appreciate the good things, we have to have rainy days, right???

i haven't wasted a lot of energy thinking about these events, they happened, i am changed from them, but needed to move on.....but perhaps it would be good for me to write about them.....

you know those four-legged furry friends that act as children or siblings for 10-15 years? ya, i'm talking about dogs (sorry, Henry). but seriously, dogs have a way of adapting from 'just a pet' to part of the family. well, our little (but old) Maggie, was put down a few Fridays ago. she was a miniature schnauzer that we 'adopted' many years ago, 13 to be exact. she was our childhood dog.

we have many memories with Maggie from me dressing her up as cheerleader (with scrunchies on her ears, of course), letting all 18 lbs of her take over 3/4 of our beds, taking her on W-A-L-K s (yes, we had to spell it when she was around), to catering to her sassy-ness when we did something that was not to her satisfaction. she was an awesome dog who was extremely loyal and lovable. she demanded that she greets you at the door with whines and kisses when you got home, who cares if you only went out to grab the mail?

we all spend so much time, energy and money protecting our animals and help them thrive, but over the years our forever youthful, Maggie, was even feeling the effects of age. she was having troubles getting up and down the stairs, had those awful age bumps (gross), would whine in her sleep cause she hurt and even needed a very expensive new stomach a few years back because she decided to help herself to apples that had fallen off of our trees (there goes a college payment, thanks Maggie!) on the morning of February 10th, my parents could not get Maggie to wake up and stand up on her own, her vertebrae had collapsed, it was definitely a sign that enough was enough. as anyone knows who lost a pet, last pictures were taken and tears were shed.

my mom will eventually get a new baby (she is looking into adopting), but Maggie will always be our first dog and never replaceable. she will always be a part of our family and memories.....

RIP Maggie, we are sorry if you never thought you got enough treats....

as i have mentioned before, i have bad knees. not the 'my knees get achy when it's cold outside' bad knees(which they do), but i have 'what can i do to prevent a knee replacement at 28' bad knees. i was very excited to meet with a knee specialist at TRIA Orthopaedic Center and make a plan of action to preserve the knee that i have. did you catch that i said i WAS excited? excitement was over 15 minutes into the appointment. not only had he confirmed that my knee does indeed suck (i was hoping everyone else who had already told me that was wrong), but that he wanted to do another surgery in order to make a plan of action. the purpose of this surgery was to validate whether i was a candidate (i think he said 'great candidate') for a meniscus transplant along with an osteotomy. sound fabulous and intense? cause it is. being stubborn (or in denial), i don't want to go into details about it, but let's just say it would include 4 weeks bedrest and 8-10 weeks no walking, i would handle that well, right? the news got worse. surgery or no surgery, he said that i must give up running. i couldn't even call him an idiot because this was THE knee specialist who I had waited weeks to see. my first worry was the Lululemon SeaWheeze 1/2 marathon that i have already signed up, booked airfare and hotel for. i'm already tired of talking about this appointment and my knees in general, so to wrap it up, the Lululemon 1/2 marathon will be my last running hurrah. am i upset? hell yea. am i giving up? no. i have fought Dr.'s orders and the odds against my knees for many years and it is time to be smart. i am 22 years with a bad wheel. so, after the emotions settled and i was able to step back and realize that i want to have an active lifestyle for al ong time. running or no running. i do feel very grateful that my last hurrah will be at the greatest event that i have ever signed up for.

to date, it has been 5 weeks since i have ran (ok, i ran twice for 15 minutes each time), but i introduced myself to elliptical and stair master. we all agreed this 'love' triangle could get messy and complicated, but we are all in it for the long haul.

i am in the process of learning that there are a lot of other ways to get a good workout that doesn't include running (suggestions are appreciated). plus, i am able to dive more into my yoga practice, win-win! (kinda of....)

anyway, i am still smiling and realizing with the right mindset and the right people by my side, there are a lot more things to be grateful for than to feel misforunate about.

with the glass half full,

always striving for more,

dee b.

busy-not at leisure; otherwise engaged

that, my friends, is the definition of busy according to dictionary.com. no complaints here, i was definitely enjoying the Christmas/holiday season, but i couldn't seem to find time to update my blog!

how was your Christmas/holiday celebration? my fellow Minnesotans, how did you feel about the 'brown' Christmas we've had?

well, as much as i do enjoy snow and getting in the Christmas spirit with a winter wonderland, i made the best of the 'brown' Christmas we had this year and even will admit that i enjoyed being able to run outside without having to wear 4 layers and slipping everywhere! :)

this Christmas seemed extra special for reasons that i can't quite pinpoint, but i can take a few guesses....

1. i got to spend the couple weeks before Christmas having a great friend of mine stay at my place (what up, MOH)....we had SOOO many laughs, reminisced about the good ol' days (cause we're so old and wise) and created so many new memories and outrageous sayings that wouldn't make sense to anyone, but us....

2. being able to see my basketball girls enjoy the Christmas season and 'Secret Santas' put me in a festive mood. has anyone else noticed that as you get older, Christmas seems to be a bit more stressful than enjoyable with all the spending money, long 'To-Do' lists and traveling? these girls keep me grounded and made me realize Christmas can be easy and enjoyable.

3. i absolutely LOVE giving presents. i am a person who would rather give presents than get presents, but being short on money can make this difficult and stressful. i realized a little creativity and planning can go a long way! i was able to stay within budget and give some of the best/creative gifts yet! yaay!

4. simplicity--maybe this is what the 'youngens' are doing right to enjoy Christmas....this season will always be hectic, but there is no reason why it cannot be simple at the same time. i found myself truly enjoying the simple thingsthis year:. time with friends, decorating the Christmas tree, enjoying the scent of a holiday candle (seriously, has anyone tried the Glade holiday candles? AMAZING!), enjoying the peace and quiet of an evening run in the snow and cuddling up with my mf and favorite kitten just watching TV. slow down, enjoy it! it's the most wonderful time of the year!

5. TRADITIONS! my family and i have always had the tradition of attending the candlelight Church service and afterwards,  gorging ourselves with crab legs (and butter) along with pecan pie on Christmas eve. in my mind, you can't beat this tradition! my oldest brother, Nic, coming home has also turned into tradition! his life is very 'Hollywood', so he only gets to come home twice a year and having him home is a really special treat (for the most part...). 

 

this was the first Christmas my mf and i have spent together, so we decided to create a few of our own traditions....

we put up our own Christmas tree! we had a lot fun doing this (Henry was a big help as well) and we are quite proud of our first Christmas tree :)

another tradition we decided to do was to write down all of the memories of 2011....on an ornament! we bought a big green ornament and wrote down big milestones of 2011 in black permanent marker. we really had a great year together and can't wait to see what memories can be put on 2012's ornament.

do you have any Christmas traditions? i think they are so fun and really add to the meaning of Christmas!

always striving for more,
dee b.

alright friends, here it is, the substantial post i promised! buckle up for a couple recipes and a secret hint into burning a lot of calories in a small amount of time....

recipes!

i have effortlessly mastered another crockpot recipe (please hold the applaus til the end). ok, not the greatest pic, i'll admit it was taken by a co-worker at lunch while we were sharing the leftovers, but seriously this stuff is good and healthy!

.:ro-tel shredded chicken:.
>chicken breasts--i have a small crock-pot, so i only used 3
>1 can corn--drained
>1 can black beans--drained and rinsed!
>1 can ro-tel tomatoes--drained--i used 2 cans and the flavored kind with cilantro and lime juice (i know there is one that has chiles, not my style)
>8 oz of cream cheese--can used reduced fat if looking to be even healthier!


place chicken breasts into bottom of crock pot (go ahead, leave them frozen). after draining the other ingredients, drop them on top of the chicken breast along with the cream cheese. leave in crockpot for 6-8 hours on low, stirring every couple hours if you can (shout out to my roommate for helping me out on this!). at the end, chicken should easily shread making it perfect for tacos, on top of rice or in a fiesta salad! if it looks a little 'soupy', turn off the crockpot for 30-45 mins, this should help take care of that.

now onto bigger and better things...dessert!

i decided to try this dessert because i was having dinner with one of my closest friends and oldest/bestest roommate and through the years, we have manifested a love for smores! although bonfire season is over, this recipe gets you close to an authentic s'more and curbs your craving.

.:s'more cookie bars:.
>1/2 cup butter, room temperature
>1/4 cup brown sugar
>1/2 cup sugar
>1 large egg
>1 tsp vanilla extract
>1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
>3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs (approximately 7 full graham crackers)
>1 tsp baking powder
>1/4 tsp salt
>2 super-sized (5 oz.) dark chocolate bars (e.g. hershey’s)
>1 1/2 cups marshmallow creme/fluff (not melted marshmallows)


preheat oven to 350°F. grease an 8-inch square baking pan.


in a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light. beat in egg and vanilla. in a small bowl, whisk together flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder and salt. add to butter mixture and mix at a low speed until combined. divide dough in half and press half of dough into an even layer on the bottom of the prepared pan. place chocolate bars over dough. i found that the 2 hershey bars fit perfectly, but feel free to break them to make them fit. spread marshmallow fluff evenly over the chocolate layer.
place remaining dough in a single layer on top of the fluff. if you clump the dough together in your hands, flatten it and place it in pieces on top, it's efficient and creates more of the 'crumbled' effect. bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until lightly browned. cool completely before cutting into bars.

yum, yum, yum! i promise it's super easy (if i can whip it together in 20 mins, i promise you can) and a total indulge!

i held back from indulging too much because i had a mission to work out before the gym closed. every other time, i could easily talk myself out of something else that i 'needed' to do. well, i need to do better with a lot of things beginning with working out. after spending an hour cleaning up my room, letting my food settle, i headed to the gym with 40 mins to workout before it closed and with no game plan in mind.

by habit, i started out on the treadmill and that did not go well which was expected after those s'more bars. i lasted 20 mins on the treadmill, decided to skip the weights, and see how many calories i could burn in the short amount using a jumprope and 1 plate weight. insert hint to burning LOTS of calories, JUMP ROPE! how simple and inexpensive. does anyone else feel that the jump rope is a highly underrated piece of equipment?

 i quickly threw together a circuit of exercises:. 30 seconds jump roping, 10 push-ups, 1 minute of abs (plank) and walking lunge with twist (using plate weight). after two rounds i was hoping the gym closing was going to my excuse to 'have' to go home. well, it had been 4 minutes. 4 minutes! i'm either out of shape or have just discovered a workout to kick my own butt...it's still up for debate. i decided to suck it up and went through 2 more rounds before going home, but i am excited to continue to use my jump rope regularly and see what happens!

with sore knees and a feeling of content, i am off to enjoy the rest of my evening!

always striving for more,
dee b.

.:happy humpday!:.

humpday is quite an exciting checkpoint for myself and my surrounding cube-mates. it's not only allows us to see the light of the weekend, but it also means payday is tomorrow and, let's be honest, humpday jokes break up the day as well.

i am proud to tell you all that i made it to the gym last night and worked out for an entire 1 1/2 hours burning over 700 calories. i have not worked out like (or felt this sore) in a long time.

my workout routine included:.
-30 min run on the treamill, starting out at 6.0 speed and increasing every 5 mins until i reached 7.8 speed. lucky for me, this was another run where my legs wanted to out run my heart regardless of the fact that i spent most of the time with a heart rate over 175 bpm. heart, i am sorry that i'm not sorry.
-weightlifting-i am hoping for this to become more methodical, so i can share some secrets with you until then, i just do basic squats, benchpress, incline dumbbell press and more squats....
-abs-my mf decided we should do the ab workout from p90x together. after about 2 sets, he got distracted by intramural soccer (soccer being his main love) that was going on. before we started he heeded a warning, do what you can, so i was glad to have only done 2 sets. :)
- we ended up playing in a game of intramural soccer, so i guess that counts as working out, right?

before working out, i tried out a recipe like i promised! i made eggocupcakes (egg cupcakes). the recipe is cheap and the procedure is simple:.

.:eggocakes:.
>approx 10 eggs
>approx 1 cup of milk
>salt or seasoning salt & pepper
>veggies:. peppers, mushrooms, whatever you like in your omelets
>cheese
>cupcake pan
>non-stick cooking spray

preheat oven to 375°. in a mixing bowl, create scrambled egg mixture with eggs, milk, and salt  & pepper. pour mixture into the cupcake pan (sprayed with the non-sticky stuff). cut up your choice of veggies and sprinkle them in with the cheese. bake for 30 mins. pop them out of the cupcake pan and refigerate. they're easy and healthy for breakfast on the run or quick post-workout protein. i made mine with almond milk and quinoa (for a little extra protein kick). now, this was my first time playing with quinoa, i am pretty sure i made it right, but i am going to have to play with it a little more before i know for sure. i soaked it in cold water for about 7 mins before draining it. i used 1 cup quinoa: 1 1/2 cup cold water, brought it to a boil and let it simmer for about 15 mins, essentially, until all the water was absorbed. next time, i may try this recipe with skim milk and skip the quinoa....

pictures of the recipe will be on later tonight (i can blog at my cubicle, but cannot upload pics)

anyway friends, i am off for a night of basketball practice and hopefully a few drinks to celebrate humpday (i'll be honest, a workout tonight is not in the forecast)

always striving for me,
dee b.

.:bliss is a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss:.

i did it, i sucked it up and made my first attempt to run in weeks and i survived! i only had time for a 25 minute run before i had hit the court for basketball, but i didn't take a single minute for granted! it felt great to get moving, get my heart rate up and burn some serious calories in a short amount of time. i am happy to share with you that my mix from rockmyrun.com was fantastic. inspiration 4 perspiration may now be my go-to mix for working out. it's a 45 minute playlist that mixes rap and hip hop, i am now motivated to workout long enough to hear the entire playlist. again, i highly suggest this website for FREE mix playlists that range from hip hop to country to rock. i can't wait to download more!

running is my time to think. on my run today, i thought about how simple my life has become in a short amount of time. i went from going to college full-time, working 2 jobs and sharing any spare time that i had with socializing and running. my money was spent on expensive food, going out (to eat and for drinks) and 'retail therapy'. i considered myself frugal. since then, i have cut down to one full time job (thankfully), food i can make in bulk (that freezes well)and an expensive night is hitting up late night happy at green mill with the man friend. i am happy, happier then what i have ever been, in fact. it's been months since i have even considered taking a happy pill (read anti-depressant, that before, i thought i needed in times of 'stress'. most of my money has a place to go (loans/bills) before it's even in my account, but i wouldn't change a thing in my life. i can put all my energy into this one job to be successful at it, share my large(and cheap) meals with my man friend and i enjoy the little victories in life. some of the best things are free.

there are a few things that i have come to really enjoy while living simple: a good cup of coffee or tea, catching up with a friend over the phone or over spaghetti (shout out to my fellow poor friends), enjoying a yoga class, the smell of library books, reading in the glow of a burning candle, bubble baths, watching old tv shows online, criminal minds marathon with my mf(man friend), pinterest, or being greeted by my kitten when i walk in the door.

i challenge you friends, that thing you need want, wait a week or two. see how you managed survive without it and re-evaluate that need. like me, you may surprise yourself at how happy you will be living simple.

i'd love to hear ideas on how you all manage to cut costs and 'tighten that belt' of finances!

always striving for more,
dee b.

.:i don't typically do this, but here's the deal:.

is it really already sunday night?? LATE sunday night, might i add. here i am sitting in a quiet room to reflect on the ups and down of another weekend that went too quickly. the downs:. i dropped my BRAND NEW blackberry in the toilet, i did not quite achieve all that i wanted to (do we ever?) and i missed basketball practice with my girls today due to a schedule change (which will never happen again!). fortunately, the ups of weekend out weigh the downs, by far. i got to spend quality time with my mom, took a much needed nap, went out with friends til late hours of the night/morning, had breakfast with the cutest guy i know, got my BRAND NEW blackberry to work again, spent time with the cutest guy i know's family (yes, the same guy from breakfast) and drum roll please, went for a run!


ok, so here's the thing, running for me is a big deal. not the 'yea, i run to fit into skinny jeans' big deal, but the 'i'm willing to wake up at 5:30 am, bundle up and run through freshly fallen snow' big deal. so, here is where i should probably fill you in on the whole 'knee' situation, blah....


it all began when i was 15 years old (i promise this story is going somewhere).....deep breath.....


it was the last soccer game before playoffs and having went to state the year before (for the first time in school's history), we were favored to make another appearance. i was a sophomore sweeper (for those of you unfamiliar with soccer, that's the last defender before the goalie). all i remember from that game, was being told my injury was not that serious and i should ease back into practice over the next few days. when i climbed out of bed the next morning and having my knee too unstable to initially stand up, i knew this needed to be fixed before playoffs, which brought me to local orthopedic clinic. a few hours later, i was on crutches telling my coach and teammates that i had torn my ACL, but not too worry because i think it's a quick fix, right coach? wrong. not only was i 15 undergoing a relatively major surgery, but it was to be followed up with months of dedication and rehab. that year i missed out on playing basketball, but this rehab process made me grow in more ways than any sports season could have. i succeeded, cried, struggled, laughed, cried some more and grew. i grew as a person and as an athlete, maintaining my passion for soccer and basketball, which brings me to my first soccer game back 8 months. i was forced to wear one of those awkward knee braces (when you see someone wearing one of these, you're so thankful it's them and not you), but had the support of family, friends and teammates as i made this big debut back to the field. this big debut ended in another torn ACL. the sexy brace did its job on my bad knee (trust me, that thing was bionic), but it was my 'good' knee that would now need surgery. i could go into details about how emotional this was and how sorry everyone was for me, but i'll just say this was a dark time for me as an athlete and as a person. after days of being in self-issued solitary confinement, i came out with a chip on my shoulder, ready for sentencing. i'm sure this rehab process was just as demanding as the first time around, but frankly, i was too pissed off to notice. 7 years down the road (that made me instantly feel old), i have now had a grand total of 5 knee surgeries, 4 on what was once my 'good' knee. i went from being an all state soccer player my freshman year to becoming medically ineligible to play D3 anything after my first year in college. sure, i could sit around and dwell on 'what could have been', but where would that put me? a bitter retiree blaming everyone else for my misfortunes? hmm, no thanks, i've got shit to do and goals to accomplish. 


running became my passion when i was 'encouraged' to find other activities that were less impact, but let me tell you, it was not a pretty start. i started out running/walking 2 miles (that may be stretching it) to losing sleep the night before my first 5k. running turned into my outlet, my way to decompress, my way to keep my competitive spirit alive, my drug of choice. these 5k's turned in 1/2 marathons, triathlons, dualthons and recently added to my resume, the twin cities marathon. had i really found my athletic niche again? wrong. whenever i seem to get too 'cocky', i am quickly reminded that i am human and there is a greater power above me who will do what it takes to form me into who i am supposed to be. after 4 knee surgeries, you'd think i'd not only own a wing of the clinic (sorry, mom and dad), but also, have bionic knees. wrong again. i had my fifth, and probably not my last, surgery this june which has left me with minimal cartilage, aka cushioning, in my left knee.


so, now do you kind of understand why running has turned into my passion? i am still struggling getting back into running. i realize after 5 knee surgeries i will have to run through pain, but some days the pain can be too much. although i am still coming to terms with the thought that i will probably never be able to run consecutive days like i used to, i start and end each run the same way, with patience and gratitude. patience, for however my body decides to feel that day and gratitude, that i have the strength, (read stubbornness), and ability to run what i can.


exhale.....my run this weekend reminded me of why i love it....

here are my necessities for running:. nike lunarglides (i have transitioned with nike thru the 1's, 2's and now 3's), ipod with my regular running playlist, protein shake-if i can't help my knees being sore, i can at least help my muscles and newly added, a heart rate monitor. i used to run with the nike+ device, but my running has taken on a new form. distance doesn't matter to me (as much) anymore, now i gauge my runs on how i feel. this weekend's run felt amazing, i was able to run over 4 miles in under 35 minutes while maintaining an average heart rate of 179. sorry heart, but my legs were not listening nor did they care how you felt because for once, they felt great. i have to try not to get too giddy over this run because tomorrow may bring a pissed off knee and a frustrated me. 


well, now that i have wrote another novel (i promise they all won't be this long), you have another piece of my puzzle. i'd like to end this post with goals because honestly, what are we without goals?


the goals in my head at the moment:.
-get up and run in the morning
-clean my room (did not get crossed off my last goal list)
-clean my car and put new tabs on the license plate...sorry dad, i still have not done this, but i do know to clean the license plate prior to sticking them on. 
-get my girls ready for their first big tournament this weekend!
-encourage and support the cute dude to accomplishing his current goal, passing an important test!


what did you do accomplish/wish to have accomplished this weekend? 


i have decided to throw another component into this blogging thing, a challenge. your first challenge, ponder events that you've experience, positive or negative, that has made you who you are today. who do you have to thank for that?


my bed and kitten are calling for a cuddle session....


always striving for more,
dee b.