.:impermanence:.

im·per·ma·nence (ˌ)im-ˈpərm-nən(t)s, -ˈpər-mə-\

not lasting or durable; not permanent

impermanence is an undeniable and inescapable fact of human existence.

whether you are reading the Webster dictionary or reading up on buddhism (i would like to state that i am NOT buddhist), impermanence is the nature of life. nothing in this world is fixed or permanent. everything is subject to change and alteration. life is comparable to a river, a progressive movement, a successive series of different moments joining together to give the impression of one continuous flow.

some days i go to yoga for a workout, some days i go for perspective. last night, i walked into the studio looking for a good sweat after being out of town, but instead got the latter. during the 75 minutes of class, the instructor continued to refer to impermanence and finding comfort in it. reflecting on my drive home, i realized that impermanence can bring comfort in hard times and gratitude in happy times. currently, impermanence fits in every aspect of my life:. relationships, work, health, financial status, even where i currently live.

i find comfort in knowing that my financial status will hopefully improve as time goes on - my loans will get smaller, my income will get bigger - i will become more established. i find comfort in knowing that drew and i will eventually move into a bigger place, share less space with others and take 'the' next step, celebrating with others will turn into celebrating us.  i find comfort in knowing that long days of working 2 jobs will come to an end. i find comfort in knowing that while i cannot run, i have found new passions.

i find gratitude in knowing that i am more established now than i was last year. i find gratitude that i am able to manage my responsibilities. i find gratitude in the home where we currently live, what this space has meant to us and the help that we have received to make it ours. i find gratitude that we live close to (almost) everything we love. i find gratitude in drew's companionship, creating our own timelines, and following our own rules. i find gratitude that i have the opportunity to impact 3 little boys' lives so their parents can have a break. i find gratitude that i can move and control my own body.

i find gratitude that i will be able to look back 5, 10 years from now and know what i have at this moment is special, unique and essentially, carefree. where i am right now is exactly where i am meant to be.

find comfort in impermanence, find gratitude in impermanence because this moment, whether it is difficult or joyful, it will come to an end - either hang in there or cherish it.

always striving for more,
dee b.

.:we often take for granted, the things that most deserve our gratitude:.

back to the grind after a refreshing 4-day weekend...

it's monday morning (grrr) after thanksgiving and i'm sitting in my cubicle thinking about how many things i have to be greatful for. do you find it easy to just go through the motions of 'thanksgiving' with all the traveling, food and family? what happens to your gratitude after all the events die down and you're not 'forced' to think about it?

i have many things to be grateful for and most of them are simple and basic...

1. FAMILY--this seems to be the default answer for everyone when asked what they're thankful for....

we're supportive, dysfunctional and FULL of love! let's be honest, there are times when everyone else turns their back on you and all you have is family....old pic, but a good one, love you guys!

i don't remember the last time almost all of the cousins were together! we have moved, got married, graduated, moved again basically grew up and forged our own paths, but getting together never changes. it's time filled with making fun of each other, eating too much food and catching up on all we have done since we last saw each other.

2. FRIENDS--also, another default, but who are we without friends and those memories that we make with them? friends add character to our live, they help create our personalities, they enrich our lives in ways that family cannot. i have always said that i don't have one best friend that i get to see on a regular basis, but i have a lot of close friends and i am thankful for each and every one of them and the fullfillment they bring to my life.

  

3.MY HEALTH-- this may be debatable after 5 knee surgeries and a bout of shingles when i was a sophomore in college...

on a serious note, i am able to run, do yoga and workout (almost) as often as i'd like and i haven't had any serious diagnosis with my health, i will call that win!

4. my two guys....

guy 1.....

   

guy 2....
                             
seriously, these two can brighten any day. i'm happy to see them at the end of the day and bummed when i have to say goodbye.

5. my degree! after many late nights and exhausting mornings filled with school work and last minute studying, i never thought i'd reach this point with B.A. after my name, no more homework and where my opportunities are endless. my opportunities have led me into a cubicle. but i know that this degree is great head start to my career. speaking of my cubicle, it leads me to my next blessing (in disguise).....

6. my job....i know i make jokes out of being trapped in a cubicle, but there was a point when i was jobless and concerned about where my next rent check was going to come from. i may not be rolling in money, but my bills are paid and i am able to stay financially independent, which is VERY important to me. i was also able to celebrate good news regarding my job....i received FULL-TIME status at my job!!! yaay!!! this means a couple key things:. benefits (insurance, paid-time off, vacation) and more money (and salary pay may i add). although i am extremely grateful for this opportunity to happen very quickly after starting, it is a bittersweet feeling. sweet because it is what i worked for and puts me one step closer to going back to school and bitter because it means i should only get more comfortable in my cube....

like i've said before, i'm poor and i'm anxious to get a move on with my life plan, but i'm happier than what i ever thought possible and i have many things to be thankful each and every day!

what do you have to be thankful for? anything that you've neglected lately that needs a little appreciation?

appreciate everything that you have because if you don't, someone else will...

always striving for more,
dee b.